There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
