I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
