Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
