I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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