You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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