she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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