just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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