dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i have two assholes
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
