trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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