How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
