rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
