Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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