No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
