i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
