I have demons in me.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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