She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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