it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
