Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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