oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
