these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
