I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
