On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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