It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
