she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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