your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
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So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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