No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
