the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
