the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
