I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
