No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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