remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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