that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
