Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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