i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
