now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize