lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
