The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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