i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Randomize
