I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
