remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
