so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
