I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
