yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
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I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
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40s are totally the cure
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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