That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped