Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.