so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.