Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
