I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
