i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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