I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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