I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
