Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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