Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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