Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
