We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
