Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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