do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
A bitchslap is in order.
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