i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
