we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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