Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
sick fucks of a feather flock together
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
